Hafiy's Fine Motor Activity

being a one-year old boy is a very exciting moment for Hafiy. as now he can mobilise himself, he likes to go anywhere in the house, especially to the kitchen and upstairs, finding Mommy. he undergoes a huge change, from crawling to walking/running, and perhaps, many things those were in his dream before, now he can grab them.

i think he's now having lots of fun in his own world. even if he never wanna shows his ability to me (why toddlers nowadays alway like to 'hide' their talents from parents?) but i'm sure he's having fun everyday. and lucky the Bibik is not only feeding and washing him, but also 'teaching' him on daily good manners, such as salam, doa, solat, etc. & playing with his blocks and rings. and she put some target on what Hafiy should reach at certain age, i.e. should be able to walk at 12 months (yes, he did at 11 months!). now Bibik's target is, Hafiy should able to talk by 18 month. so, we wait and see! my target? adela... (sometimes i feel 'sayang' plak kat Bibik ni, despite lots and lots of complaints :P)

as a toddler, he likes to tear things! i used to give him old magazine to tear and bite, but as he grows up we changed it to board book and pull-up book. but he does not like board book (because nobody in the house reading boardbook!) & now all the pull-up things is gone.. hehe.

lucky we bought this during sale. dah tak cukup sifat now.

because of that, i bought a knob-puzzle board. but as a 1-yeor-old, he's still fighting with the fitting into the slots. and i have to join him all the time to ensure his motivation is always up, cos he gets easily bored if unsuccessfully doing something. same goes with the form-fitter.

but he has his own favourite things to do. screw and unscrew cap/lid. but he still don't do it for balang kuih raya :P he used to addict to empty containers such as lotion, moisturiser and even his milk bottles. but now he changes to 'unempty' bottles, like this one:

and this have to be 'pantau'ed all the time cos he will end up licking the roller. yuck!

of course i want him to do something else as well, but look like he enjoys the bottles/containers very much. so, rather than spoiling his mood for something i want him to do, i better let him doing what he likes to do. even if i have to wake up at the middle of the night because he wants to unscrew my deodorant!

even if the activities look so simple, but it is stimulating his fine motor skill. fine motor skillsis crucial, because it may not only involve the fingers but only coordination with eyes and brain. babies use these skill since birth, as they started to use their sight. and as they grow up, this skill shall be enhanced to help them in their future-independent activities such as eating, dressing, writing, etc.

try to varies the activities as much as you can but don't underestimate if your children refuse to play with other things (Hafiy is a screw-unscrewing addict!), because as simple activity as clapping hands is actually stimulating their fine motor!

13 Month Hafiy & 26 Week Adik

sejak Mami tinggal Hafiy waktu balik Miri last 2 week, i took a week untuk sesuaikan diri balik dengan Hafiy. OK, i dunno about other kids, tapi Hafiy memang sangat jauh berbeza. sampai hati Mami berkata-kata "betul ke Hafiy anak Mami ni? apsal lain?"

antara kelainan yang Mami dapat rasa (masa mula2 balik):-
- muka makin bulat.
- dah tak bercakap! before Mami tinggal if nak ape2, adalah words yang Mami bole faham, like "em", "mam", "em-mi", "Ma-mi", "nak"... tapi sejak kene tinggal, nak apa2 semua main jerit ke. kena la try & error satu-satu sampai jumpa Hafiy nak apa sebenarnya.
- Hafiy dah taknak bf bila Mami balik kerja. biasanya Mami balik2, terus claim em-Mi, tapi sekarang if Mami offer pun taknak. kalau nak pun, sekadar jaga hati je. 'lick' sikit2 pastu pegi main kat dapur.
- hantu TV ok!

yang lain Mami tak kisah pun, cuma part yang paling last tu, agak down jugaklah bila duk kusyuk join Bibik & Tok Ma tengok drama Malay or Indon. bukan ape, faham-faham la kalo dah tengok drama zaman sekarang ni... and at this age, Hafiy sedang giat mengcopy benda-benda yang ditengok. kalau join Abiy tengok TV takpe, Abiy tengok channel news je :D

malam first Mami sampai, Hafiy nangis-nangis masa nak tido, even if mata dah tak bole buka. macam2 Mami buat, tiup2 segala, bagi emem, semua taknak. last-last... bawak turun... Tok Ma bukak TV. OK.. barula tido! rupa-rupanya masa Mami takde, Hafiy tido kat depan TV.

Mami agak pantang kalau tido kat tempat lain selain bilik, kalau ada bilik. if balik kampung tak boleh buat ape la kan. itu Mami selalu kejut Abiy kalau beliau tertidur depan TV. bukan Abiy je, Tok Pa, Tok Ma & sape2 ajelah yang tertidur depan TV, Mami kejut suh tidur bilik. selain dari keselesaan di atas tilam, kat dalam bilik lebih secure dari ruang tamu. kalau kat ruang tamu tu, orang masuk ke (naudzubillah), terus jumpa kita dulu.

so, start dari malam berikutnya, lepas dinner je, Mami terus 'melarikan' Hafiy ke atas. syukurlah, sekarang if Mami lepak2 sekejap kat bawah, Hafiy dah merengek nak naik atas. kat atas lagi best main kan? Hafiy kan suka main buka-tutup bekas-bekas & main-main barang Mami especially perfume & sikat rambut.

now Hafiy dah big boy, 13 bulan dah. macam-macam perangai lah budak nak membesar.

(1) malam-malam tidur awal tapi midnight bangun, ada la apa-apa yang dikehendaki. malam tadi Hafiy nak main deodoran Mami. mula-mula macam biasa... cap and uncap. lepas tu calit2 kat badan Mami. and finally... nak jilat! oh itu sudah tiada dalam kurikulum penggunaan deodoran. bila Mami simpan balik, Hafiy nangis sekuat hati. offer benda2 lain semua Hafiy geleng. oh Mami tak larat nak layan. biar aje merengek-rengek sampai tidur sendiri.

(2) nak makan sendiri. nak lauk yang orang lain makan. tapi orang-orang tua suka tengok Hafiy makan. derang kata Hafiy pandai makan, tak main sumbat semua. makan suap sikit-sikit, ada lauk, sayur... tapi still la lantai makan lagi banyak. pastu suka suap orang. Mami & ABiy la yang selalu kena suap :D pandai Hafiy ni, nanti boleh suapkan Adik ye...

"mam Abiy, mam..!"

(3) tahu duk dalam toilet. kalau toilet cangkung, Hafiy cangkung. toilet duduk, Hafiy duduk. tapi kita tak ada pelapik toilet untuk toddler. pegi shopping complex je la dapat merasa sesekali...

(4) Hafiy suka selongkar drawer senduk Tok Ma dan peti ais tempat simpan sayur. benda paling disukai, main senduk, bawang dan belacan or asam jawa. kalau orang sibuk kat dapur, Hafiy pun sibuk sama nak tumbuk, nak masak sekali. so kene selalu ada senduk dan pinggan plastik kat tangan.

(5) dan macam-macam lagila perangai budak masuk tahun ke-2 kehidupan.

Mami & Abiy pulak kena ready dengan kerenah-kerenah yang bakal kami hadapi, especially benda2 berkenaan tantrum (why the young toddlers always associate with tantrum?). sekarang pun Hafiy dah menunjukkan ciri-ciri tersebut bila:-

(1) nak dokong tapi Mami suruh jalan. guling-guling kat lantai la jawabnya.
(2) bila nak buat something tapi tak dapat, i.e. tak dapat nak cap-kan botol, nasiblah botol tu kena campak (tapi Hafiy kutip balik dan cuba lagi. good).
(3) bila pegi bookstore, Hafiy suka grab color2 yang ada kat situ, especially water color dalam silinder kecik2 tu. kalau Mami cakap "..letak balik", Hafiy geleng. kalau Mami ambil dari tangan Hafiy, siaplah satu store tu Hafiy jerit.

dah la tu story sal Hafiy.

semalam Mami pegi check up Adik. he is 26 week now (*he, OK). alhamdulillah, Mami have no problem except bleeding gum dan perasaan 'kembang' di pintu gate Adik nak kuar nanti. Dr. Seri recommends Mami jumpa dentist, since Mami tak ada bleeding kat tempat lain i.e. nose, luka2, etc. so takde masalah dengan blood, cuma perkara biasa, during pregnancy gusi akan bengkak sikit. tapi kali ni teruk jugaklah bleeding gum tu, everytime gosok gigi berdarah yang sangat banyak & kadang2 if kumur without gosok gigi pun boleh berdarah. and about the perasaan 'kembang' could be because urat kembang. nanti lepas bersalin baru boleh treat (jika betul).

Dr Seri cakap, Adik agak besar lah. and maybe akan lahir besar. ops... saspen pulak. berat Mami pun naik mencanak2. dari 45kg before pregnant, sampailah 4 bulan 44kg je, 5 bulan jadi 50kg, sekarang dah dekat 54kg! masa Hafiy, full term Mami 55kg... isk isk isk. Mami gemuk! pipi pun kembang semangkuk dah ni.

image dicilok dari BabyCentre. tapi Adik tak duk cam gambar tu lah. kepala Adik kat bawah.

overall, Adik OK. gerak pun OK. plasenta pun kat atas. fibroid pun dah takde. cuma malu sikitlah Adik ni. semalam dua2 tangan tutup muka. Dr Seri suluh2 pun taknak bukak juga. print pun gamba tangan je. hehe. takpelah, nanti lain kali kita suluh lagi.

Mami pun ada tanya Dr Seri pasal GBS (Group B Streptococcus). dia kata, dia cuma akan buat test tu kalau ada simptom saja, like discharge yang luar biasa & dapat detect dari urine test. routinly, dia tak buat lah. Dr Seri cakap Mami, jangan risau ye, you sihat :) alhamdulillah.

tapi Mami lupa mintak surat naik flight. lagi 2 minggu dah 28week, kene ada surat dah nak fly.

sekarang malam-malam before tido Mami cakap-cakap ngan Hafiy sambil pegang perut. "ni Adik.. sayang Adik... Hafiy jaga Adik tau...bla bla bla" reaksi Hafiy? kadang2 kiss perut Mami. kadang2 buat derk je. kadang2 nangis. entah faham ke tidak :P

"Adik? ape tu?

alhamdulillah, kita bakal dapat boy lagi. Abiy dah saspen, takut rumah runtuh pulak. ye lah, dah dua2 boy kan. tapi biasalah budak2, kalau duk diaaaaam je, pelik pulak kan. Mami akan belajar, especially dari Tok Pi. kagum dengan dia. anak dia 3 lelaki berturut2, beza umur 1 & 2 tahun je. walaupun sangat2 playful, tapi sangat2 boleh diharap. usia tadika dah boleh jemur-angkat kain, kemas rumah, bancuh teh, siap bole buat kuih raya lagi. bukan setakat tolong Mak, tapi buat sendiri! biasa yang Mami tengok, budak lelaki usia tadika & tahap 1 sekolah rendah, keje nak main je...

Mami rasa.. mencabar juga lah sebenarnya. especially for Abiy. kawan2 sebaya Abiy baru nak memulakan hidup, baru nak kahwin, dan ramai lagi yang belum kahwin. Abiy dah nak masuk anak ke-2. kalau Mami, ramai dah kawan Mami anak 3-4 orang, so takde la rasa janggal. semoga Allah memelihara keluarga kita. yang penting, Allah bagi kekuatan pada Mami untuk mendidik anak-anak supaya tak menyusahkan orang lain.

bila tengok anak-anak orang (lain) pegi rumah/tempat orang, buat kecoh, buat sepah, etc. sikit sebanyak buat hostnya tak selesa, Mami pun saspen je.... anak-anak Mami behave tau? ameen. insya-Allah. :)

CMPA & Lactose Intolerance

Hafiy showed some symptoms of 'unsuitable with cow milk' when first time i added formula (Dupro) in his solid, 6 months back, but i wasn't aware. he got rashes and colic. actually it triggered questions for why did the strange rashes appear (it was like 'kena taik ulat' all over his body) but we tot because of the heat. Miri kan panas.

and it happened again last month, when i tried to supplement him with cow milk, after my milk dwindled. he got rashes and diarrhea for days.

i tot it was the sign of lactose intolerance, but as far as i remember, lactose intolerance (LI) wont produce rashes cos it's only play with the digestive system. it should not be more than:
- bloated
- ab cramp
- diarrhea
- colic

we didnt refer to any paed (it was raya then & we were at KB), i only asked the panel dr, and he suggested to change to the other milk.

so i went to pharmacy to find the best formula for Hafiy. after almost 1 hour 'researching' & send smses to some FF-moms, i came with a conclusion that, there are 3 types of fm:
- cow based milk with lactose
- cow based milk lactose free
- soy based milk

ok, we get rid of the first one, but now, which one? both are lactose free & LF cow milk is slighly cheaper..

so i did 'further research' and finally i suspected Hafiy to have CMPA (cow milk protein allergy) rather than LI. again, i didnt go to paed cos i think it was manageable :p

CMPA is not LI, and it's more severe, cos it's a kind of allergy that involve his imune system, not only the digestive system. it is life thretening! the symptoms include:
- diarrhea
- rashes and eczema
- vomit
- colic
- cough
- short of breath

it can appears in 45 minutes or after 24 hours of milk intake. if LI is the inability to break down the milk sugar (lactose), CMPA is worse cos it happens when the immune system reacts with cow protein, in abnormal way.

so babies with CMPA only can take soy formula, cos LF cow milk still has cow milk protein.

ironically, soy fm is d*mn expensive!

and i dun understand why Hafiy likes that fm so much. he never2 be like this during EBM time (ok i knew it. it could be because of incorrectly handled EBM by the caretaker?), now he drinks 1 tin of 900gram per week! bengkok mak tau!

but in the same time i feel so syukur cos he's 'willing' to take other milk, at least before Adik is born. tapi malam2 mengamuk jugak nak 'Em Mi'.

i hope Hafiy's CMPA wont be long. first, we have no family history of such allergy. second, he was fully breastfed for 1year, with 6 months of exclusive bf. most of the time, causes of CMPA is from family history & shorter duration of exclusive bf. i hope this is just the reaction from his first time exposure to cow milk.

oh but wait. this is a good news! i have a good 'excuse' to continue bf Hafiy nanti (in case orang tua bising2). "dia elergik susu lembu & susu soya mahal sangat! biar kongsi dengan Adik je, jimat" :p

*just wanna share the cost of this soy fm:
1 tin x RM54/tin/1week x 4 week/1month = RM54x4 per month!
berapa tu.. bole beli pam lagi satu :D
tapi demi anak2,apelah sangat kan?

Motherhood

when talking about motherhood, parenting and things relate to it, i feel so humble. i am only a so-and-so mother. i don't make a supermom. i don't have anything to be proud of, as a mother myself.

i can't provide the world's best things to my kids. i don't have high intelligence to see them in different angle, than what i am seeing them today. when i do someting on my kids, i don't know whether they're happy. i have not enough courage to push myself, to be what i should. i can't do what other mothers did.

sometimes i feel so low, especially when putting myself among other mothers. i feel so lousy, and been left far behind them. my day is keep on running but i'm still standing at the same point. i have nothing to be proud of, for being a mother.

but when looking at them, to kiss their cheeks, to hear them breathes, to smell their natural fragrants, to hug them close... i knew i did a great job!

afterall, becoming a mother is the greatest job ever!

*yesterday we met mother bloggers & other bloggers at Ryan birtday bash. what a day! till we meet again! (stories at Aunty Yaya's & Aunty Nannoor's blog).

What Ayat/Surah?

several friends asked me about "what is the ayat for this & that purpose?", "surah for this & that purpose?", example, "what is the ayat to calm my turbulence heart?", or "what surah to make my child/unborn child genius?", etc.

my standard answer would be "you read al-Quran, and ask forgiveness from Allah (istighfar)".

i believe that al-Quran had been sent to us through Muhammad SAW as a 'user manual' for us, not as a kind of 'medicine' or something to save you from any harm. and al-Quran is just a book, unless when we read it. and the whole al-Quran is asy-syifaa'.

should not read it during certain time or certain surah e.g. Surah Maryam, Yusuf, etc ONLY to be read during pregnancy for this & that purpose. should not only reading Yaasin on Friday night. and should not only read al-Quran only when you're on the praying mat.

i put myself in a lucky group for being born in a Malay family that made me a Muslim automatically. however, sometimes we take this for granted, cos we're born Muslim, it complacents us enough to 'no need to learn & do research bout Islam' until it makes us confuse between Islamic practice and Malay practice.

among the 'confusions' is how we treat the Holy Book. let's see...

MALAY PRACTICES:
1. keep al-Quran at the highest shelf to show our respect.
2. don't let children 'play' with al-Quran.
3. al-Quran is very exclusive & should be read on the praying mat/in the masjid.
4. be properly dressed to read al-Quran.
5. etc.

actually there's nothing wrong with above, cos they're also should be our manner toward al-Quran. but, what i can see the effects from 'improperly managed' those manners:
1. it's placed high and hard to get it frequently. then only the ants read.. or for exhibition. al-Quran should be 'treated' like other books and vice versa. keep it at lower shelf so that it is easy to access. and other books are also 'ilmu'. dont put them 'down'.
2. kids are not familiar with al-Quran and quite hard to make them love 'mengaji'.
3. when we're away from those places we do not familiar with reciting it at any other places, i.e., in the bus/train, while waiting for our order/friend in a restaurant, etc.
4. so many excuses for 'not able' to recite al-Quran.
5. etc.

i also heard many excuses to make them 'not able' to perform this practice:
1. don't understand Arabic so better read other articles.
2. can't recite al-Quran well.
3. -ditto- & afraid of sin if read it incorrectly.

but,
1. have you ever heard about Terjemahan or Translation? if you still confuse, go get an easy Tafsir. or find someone to help.
2. there's a hadith mentions 'for those who recite al-Quran well, he'll get 1 pahala. & those who can't do it well (but still reading) will get 2 pahala. so, enjoy the priviledge!
3. that's why we're asked to learn..

well, reading al-Quran is not a compulsory, meaning if you don't read it, you won't be punished. but imagine this, you entered exam hall and answer the paper without reading the instruction carefully. then after the paper is returned to you, you got 0% because of the instruction 'do not answer anything' that you didnt read. it is not compulsory to read the instruction, right? but for not reading it, you get 0%.

ok maybe it's a bit harsh. imagine you have a luxury car, with luxury color and fabulous look. but the speed limit is only 20km/h. how long will it takes you to your destination, compared to those cars with 240km/h speed limit?

and leave the mindset of 'i get this because i recite this surah/ayat'. it's not because the power of any ayat to bestow any bless, all comes from Allah's love (rahmat). the ayat/surah somehow is only our effort. do what He loves and leave things He hates. we'll get anything we want, insya-Allah (& at least a mind with serenity if we dont/cant have it).

Is Interactive-Educational Toys Worth?

personally, i dunno. but i 'think' it is subject to how (style) a parent grow the babies up. however, we are among the group who believe that 'in today's life, all unneccessary becomes neccessary cos your neighbours say so'. does it make sense?

world economic depends on consumerisme. when the purchasing power decreases, concurrently it will paralyse the stores, and manufactures. these businessmen, as smart as they can be, will do anything to get the purchasing power grows.

they knew that parents will do anything to the kids, so they use this as a strong weapon to make people think that they're doing an 'investment' by buying any so-called educational, development, interactive (whatever the names are) stuffs to their children. they're actually using our kids to dig our pockets.

to the extent that, there are mothers who think "poor my baby... he may not developes like other babies cos i can't afford those expensive educational toys".

to me (cos i can't afford too), toy is toy. anything can be toy, if we make it a toy. we have lots of things to play with, at home, and they'll never stop our children to be creative. don't feel sorry for not able to have a playground at home, cos our home is a big playground.

yes, educational toy maybe helps to boost lil' kids' skills, intelligent, etc. but if we have not enough resources (money, etc.), don't buy what the advert/others say. better put the extra money in the children's future education fund. for the time being, choose the simple rule of:

1. Parents
2. Children
3. Time
4. Love

remember that now the marketers are bringing up the unessential to be essential, then it will look so essential.

My English

i am very weak in english. ever. i was 'english-blinded' during my primary school years, and i just started to 'know' some english words before sitting for PMR exam. even if the medium used at UTP was english, but to be frank i was always blur and blank, especially during foreign lecturer's classes.

in my organisation (work), english is the major language, especialy in emails and meetings. but still, i can't speak/write well. my email/report always need to be reviewed by my supervisor (jd cikgu english plak dia). and many uh-ah in meetings (tho i chaired most of it!).

this week i am attending a seminar (about work), and most of the presenters are from UK. and i have difficulty to comprehend UK english, for US english it's easier (just a lil bit easier) cos i'm used to watch US movies, news and TV shows. even if Malaysian follows UK english, but i cant even understand the accent. so i couldnt even absorb any drop from their presentations ;(

i really want to improve my english, especially when talking to UK people... oh God i hope there's no UK people around, but in my office, all the white guys are from UK! very hard to speak with them because i cant understand any single word they say, and they also couldnt understand mine! very the broken. but unfortunately my application to attend English class organized by the office was rejected :(

i know i should do something. and make sure my children wont be like me. they should be able to write, read and speak in english fluently, especially UK tounge. so what's next? watch Harry Potter? subscribe BBC? have frequent chat with those UK guys? speak english at home??? hehe.